A little recap if you haven’t already read my previous posts…
- I went into labor in the wee hours of the night… and didn’t even know it. But we all know I was in denial.
- When I finally went in to Labor & Delivery I was already dilated 7 cm – which is totally freakin’ awesome!
- I labored all the way through to 10 cm without the help of the epidural
So now we have reached the end. It’s time to push and we cannot wait to finally meet our little girl. In a matter of minutes, I’ll be hearing her first cries and holding her in my arms. Tada… the end, right? Ha! Right…just so you know, having a pretty easy and textbook labor does not mean a damn thing. My nurse was not kidding when she said that pushing Baby P out would be the hardest part. Both mentally and physically.
After my midwife confirmed I was fully dilated, she “broke” my water bag (yup, it was still in tact up until then) and gave me the go to push with the next contraction. And oh-em-gee did it feel goooood to do so.
For the next 4 hours.
So much for not taking the epidural when they offered it to me. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. The pain and exhaustion of having to push for-ev-errrr! But there I was… Totally exhausted. By this point in time, I had been up for over 24 hours… since I woke up from a good night’s sleep Saturday morning. I barely got an hour of sleep time when I started feeling contractions… but that was interrupted sleep so that doesn’t count! So yes… I felt defeated.
We tried every position known to man to help push Baby P out but nothing seemed to work. It turned out that my contractions weren’t strong and long enough for me to effectively give 3-4 pushes. It would die down in the middle of like the 2nd push, so by the 3rd push, I was pretty much doing it all on my own.
After about an hour and still no baby, they decided to give me pitocin. To help strengthen my contractions. To help me push Baby P out. I didn’t want to do it, but I wanted her out of me. So I agreed. Did it work? It strengthened my contractions no doubt. But not enough for me to push 3-4 times in one contraction. Even upping the dosage didn’t help. My baby just did not want to come out.
We even played tug-o-war with a bedsheet. At first with my midwife. But after she realized how strong I was and that I almost pulled her down into me, the job was then given to my hubby. While it did seem like it worked in the beginning… Baby just would not budge.
Then when that didn’t work, they showed me Baby P, hoping to motivate me to push harder. They brought out a huge mirror so I could see her head…especially while I pushed. In all honesty, while it was amazing to see her head that close…it was kinda weird to be looking at it trying to come out of me.
I was tired. And delirious. I remember telling my hubby that I couldn’t do it anymore. That they needed to cut me open. But he wouldn’t let me give up.
I was so tired that there were some contractions where I didn’t even try to push. I needed rest. I know I should have continued to push but I just couldn’t. By about 4:30-ish my midwife came in and threatened me with a c-section. And you have no idea how ready I was to just scream “yes! Cut me open!” My husband stepped in and firmly told me to push our baby out. Wait. No. He yelled at me to push her out. We both did not want surgery unless it was our only option. And there was no emergency or reason to have a c-section.
For the next 30 minutes I pushed. And just when I thought “great, they’re gonna take me in and cut me open and I’m gonna hate myself for letting them,” every single nurse on duty came into my room. One after the other. I wanna say there were at least 10 of them in there. One nurse, with a thick Russian accent, came to my bedside and yelled at me like a drill sergeant. She was scary. And I had no choice but to listen. She yelled to push even when I couldn’t. She ordered my husband and cousin (who had shown up to help coach sometime before I was fully dilated) to hold my legs. I’m not flexible at all, but at that moment, I had to be.
The rest of it was kinda surreal. I heard the voices of other nurses coaxing me to push…to not make a sound…to channel all that energy into pushing. I saw my midwife put on her gloves and surgical gown and pull up a stool down there. And when I asked “what are you doing?!” She said “I’m delivering this baby, what do u think I’m doing?” With all of that going on… Drill sergeant lady yelling at me, my midwife doing God knows what down there with my lady parts, and all the nurses coaching and cheering me on, I managed to push Baby P’s head out. Ask me if that hurt and I couldn’t tell you. I know I had an episiotomy done. Didn’t feel that at all. I do remember feeling the rest of her slide out of me when I had to push again. And before I knew it, she was placed on top of my chest immediately and my husband was cutting the umbilical cord.
And I was in tears. Mostly tears of joy. But a huge chunk of it were tears of relief. I looked down at my baby and just could not believe she was finally here.
It was love at first sight
Time ceased to exist once she arrived. Hubby and I were so busy swooning over her that I didn’t even notice the midwife “working” on me down there. Didn’t mind the discomfort of her pushing on my uterus to get the rest of the junk out along with the placenta. I was busy admiring our creation and enjoying the skin-to-skin bonding time with my daughter. She was absolutely gorgeous. And everything – The pregnancy, the labor, the pain, all of it… Was sooo worth it. She was worth it. And after hearing stories from all my mama friends, it felt amazing to finally understand and experience it for myself.
After both Baby P and I were cleaned up, and as we waited to be transferred to our room, family was finally allowed in to meet our little princess.
Here’s Ella Juliet with her Grandpa David
With Auntie Viviana and Uncle Darrell
…with her Auntie Virginia
And her Uncle Diego
While everyone visited with the newest addition to our growing family, I managed to scarf down some food.
With the exception of a glazed donut I had in the morning before I made it to the hospital, I hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before. I was famished! And completely drained. I didn’t know it right away, but apparently I had lost a lot of blood. When the nurses helped me up to go to the restroom (they make you pee right away for those that don’t already know), I almost passed out. It felt silly to me that I had to have all this help getting to the restroom to pee and change into some fresh and clean clothes. My mental state of mind at that moment: I just pushed out a baby! I can do anything!!!! Yeah well, almost passing out was my body’s way of saying “slow down!” Thank goodness for awesome nurses!
So there ya have it! Did my best to include every last detail without dragging the story on and on. The event itself was exciting but I don’t want to bore you with having to read it. I could have included pics of the placenta to add a bit of umph to this post but I know some of ya don’t wanna see that stuff. And I wouldn’t want to scare those of you who haven’t had children yet or who just can’t stomach the sight of blood. But it was pretty cool to look at!
Anyway, just a current update of where Baby P and I are today. Today she is 12 weeks old, almost 13. And that means I’m 12 weeks postpartum. We are happy and healthy as can be. It’s been a major adjustment having a baby in our lives but we love her to pieces and wouldn’t have it any other way.
As far as my fit blog is concerned… I want to try and blog more when I can. I started working out this week. In my garage. Starting off slow and just working my way back to what I was doing prior to getting pregnant. Got a few pounds of baby weight left to shed but I’m not worried. It will happen. I’m just taking advantage of this special time with my little one before I go back to work in November – something I’m not looking forward to. But that’s a whole different story.
I just want to thank you all for reading my blog posts and following along as I went through this entire experience. It’s been great and amazing and I am looking forward to watching this baby of mine grow.
Until the next blog post…
Much love and aloha,