Finding My New Normal After I Became a Mother of 2

Nothing could truly prepare me for this new life.


Of course I’ve heard stories from my mom-friends. I’ve also read a ton of mom blogs. But like becoming a first time mom, you don’t really know what it’s going to be like until you’re in it.

So I was optimistic. I mean I already knew what it was like to have a baby. And I knew what it was like to survive the darkness of the newborn stage. Now it was just a matter of having to go through it again… but with a toddler.

No big deal, right?

Boy was I optimistic. I can’t help but laugh at myself a little bit. Because really… I had no clue.

Becoming a mother of 2 is basically starting all over again. Like seriously. Starting from scratch. The routines that were established with Ella was designed through trial and error and what worked for us and Ella. Not Us, Ella, and Baby. Just when we thought we were winning in this parenting thing, we decided to challenge ourselves by having another kid.

Let’s start with life at home. Because let’s face it… my outside social life was put on hold until further notice. So the only life I had was my home life. That’s just the reality of it. If I could not get a grip on tackling day to day chores, forget trying to take on the outside world.

When you have 2 kids… 2 babies… trying to establish any kind of schedule in the newborn stage is not even worth the effort. Especially if you are exclusively breastfeeding. Having to balance nursing Everly on demand and feeding Ella took a lot of time and effort. I was lucky if I got to eat anything myself. And like my babies, if I didn’t get anything to eat, I became very cranky. And stressed out. Which made my toddler cranky and stressed out. And by the end of the day we were all crying when Daddy came home.

We used to have a system where dirty dishes was loaded up into the dishwasher at the end of the day so that we would have clean dishes for the next day. Some days it gets done (usually when the hubby is off work and both of us together, we get ish done) and some days it doesn’t. It just piles up until we are completely out of clean ones. Okay maybe I’m exaggerating just a little bit, but for real… some days I just don’t have the time to do dishes. There’s been a couple of instances where it literally has taken me an entire day to get a sink load of dishes done – in between diaper changes, feedings, and putting babies to sleep!

When it was just Ella, our living room would be picked up each night before we went to bed. Because there’s nothing like the feeling of waking up to a clean house each morning. Yeah… getting Ella to help pick up toys now that Everly is here is like trying to pull teeth. Sometimes she helps, sometimes she refuses. Sometimes the living room stays messy with toys everywhere for days!

Laundry. Can’t save it for the weekends anymore. I’ve actually started doing a load of laundry or 2 a day just so they don’t pile up. Because the pile grows quickly when you got a newborn. Can’t believe how much laundry a little tiny human being can accumulate in one day, but it does.

And forget about looking cute! The effort I put in to look decent when I went out after having Ella went out the window with Everly. Pajamas is high fashion status these days. When we didn’t have any visitors, my go-to outfit consisted of a pair of shorts and a nursing bra and a comfy robe. I rocked the mom bun and no makeup look for weeks! When people came to visit, I added a shirt and put on minimal makeup. And by minimal I mean moisturizer with a brush of powder foundation. I was now a mother of 2 and I was definitely going to use that as an excuse to why I looked the way I did. I was too tired to care.

I hardly ever cook anymore. My poor husband has had to deal with working 40+ hours a week and then coming home to cook dinner for us all. And then on weekends, he helps me meal prep for the week. Okay, okay, he doesn’t just help… he pretty much does it all. And when we both can’t, we order take out. Gotta do what you gotta do.

Everly is now 3 months old and although we are still adjusting and setting new routines, it’s getting a little bit easier. It’s definitely a team effort for the hubby and I.  But we’re getting there.

And hey, I’m still workin’ on getting that birth story written. 😉


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