I’ve been wanting to write something like this for awhile but always forget to when it’s time to actually sit and write. Anyway, I had a conversation with a friend awhile ago. About how people say things without really thinking about how what they’re saying might offend someone. And by someone I mean us.
And maybe I’m just hormonal, but lately there’s been a couple of comments I’ve been getting from people that just makes me want to throw a fit. Much like how my almost-2-year-old throws one when she doesn’t get her way.
How bad can these comments really be, you ask?
Try this one on for size.
“Hopefully this one looks more like you.”
😳 Now WTF does that mean? Either you’re implying my firstborn is not cute or you’re saying my husband isn’t cute or worthy enough for our child to look like him. You may not mean for it come off that way but come on. Think about it. What’s so wrong with my first child not looking like me anyway? How should she look? My husband is Caucasian. I’m Filipino. A dark complected one at that. Apparently my genes weren’t strong enough to shine through but yes people, she is flesh and blood. And she did come out of me.
And then I got this one a lot after we announced my pregnancy.
“Was it planned?”
Hell yes this one was planned! And even if she wasn’t planned, what makes you think you have the right to know? And does it really matter anyway? Planned or not, this baby is very much wanted.
“Whoa you got big!”
Gee thanks. I know you refer to the belly growing and all, but try to be a bit more sensitive about it. Yes I’m growing a miracle. Yes I know I’m pregnant. But even though this is my 2nd time going through this, doesn’t make it easier seeing my body go through these changes.
“Are you sure you’re not having twins?”
Again. Just refrain from asking any question that talks about the size of the belly. I’m pregnant and so very much hormonal. Ask my husband. He thinks I’m crazy. Even the “how are you feeling?” question can sometimes be off limits. Just don’t ever ask this question.
And then when I tell people I’m having another girl, I get this one…
“Are you sad it’s not a boy?”
No we are not sad and no we are not going to try until we get a boy. 2 kids are all we want. Anything more means we will be outnumbered. And besides, if we keep “trying” and just keep getting girls… when do you suggest we stop trying?
“Can I touch your belly?”
Ok, I know you asked for permission. But come on, really? If you are not family or close friend, the answer is no. I just don’t like people touching me in general. Hugs are welcomed. Touching the belly? Not a good idea if you want to keep your hand. I actually responded to someone once “well can I touch yours?” Yeah… the look on that person’s face was classic. She was shocked. I went on to say “yeah, I didn’t think so.”
And just so you know, not asking is way worse than asking. I’ve had people say to me as they’re touching the belly “you look so pregnant!” and then they wonder why I turn into a bitch soon afterwards. Just. Don’t. Do. It.
Bottom line? Just don’t piss the prego lady off. Quite honestly, anything can set us off really. The hormones raging through us the entire 9 months of this process is no joke. Don’t even ask me if you could have my bagel. You’ll be on my shit list for the rest of this pregnancy. 😜
We just ask that you be a little bit more sensitive with us.
Because we are very emotional creatures as is…
We over analyze everything that you say to us.
We are just a hot mess.
That is all.